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    • Links

  • Capital Jiu-Jitsu
  • Doug Sanford
  • Facebook
  • Flickr
  • Google Profile
  • LovetheCool
  • My Company
  • Myspace
  • Picasa
  • Razors and Vines
  • Still Small Space
  • Twitter

    • Archives

    Contact

  • Contact PrettyMike

    Site Admin

    Logout
    Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS


    • Last Weeks Tweets

    February 7, 2010, 5:02 pm


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    Life’s Like a Bar Crawl.

    February 4, 2010, 7:01 am

    You meet people at certain places and times but have to part ways… sometimes if you’re lucky enough you get to see the people you had a good time with at one bar…at another.

    Sometimes not.

    “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ~H. Jackson Browne

    Free beer at RHINO’s tonight in Georgetown at 6pm, I’ll be drinking to the road less traveled.

    Wonderful Bar Tender and Beautiful Smiler Carmella


    Comments (2)

    The Consequences were Immediate and Devastating!

    February 1, 2010, 7:38 am

    For months people have been teasing me about my daughter turning 13. Smiling ear to ear as they weaved horrible tales of hormones, attitudes and boys that were going to be conjured up after her ritual thirteenth ceremony of birth.

    I’d discounted most of it as hyperbole and reasoned that I am scary enough looking, and crazy enough acting to keep Taylor on track and boys at bay.

    But there is a giant hole in my plan…boys don’t know I’m scary and crazy if they’ve never met me. (see: Make her wear a t-shirt with a picture of my face making “prison eyes” on it.)

    After hosting a sleepover I had the house back in order and Taylor was downstairs in the computer lab working on homework when I received an IM that aroused a feeling of uneasiness in my stomach.

    She was complaining about a boy her age in the computer lab watching a video and not using ear phones…a few minutes later, “he was nice” and they were “talking a little.”

    (inner monologue: sex offenders are nice too…until you’re in the back of their van.)

    I am unsure how the conversation came back around to her time at the computer lab, because the information that I received next caused a momentary lapse in clarity…it felt like a panic attack that hurts your feelings and then kicks you square in the bits.

    “I’m not going to call him.”

    “he gave you his number?”

    “yeah”

    “why? does he deliver pizza, offer a wake up service, is he selling long distance?”

    “he’s my age, he can’t deliver pizza”

    “yeah so why would you need his number?”

    (at this point, I had an even more horrible revelation!)

    “did you give him your number?”

    “yeah, I didn’t want to be rude…I’m not going to call him”

    (I knew it was important not to overreact here)

    “Taylor giving your number to a stranger is saying I might be interested in having sex with you.”

    (nailed it)

    “I don’t think so, I just didn’t want to be rude.”

    “I am not angry with you, I just need to collect my thoughts…new rule, you are not allowed to give your number to strangers. If you are involved in an activity with somebody then feel free to exchange numbers but I don’t want some person who we don’t know or have any connection to with your phone number…it’s a safety issue. You didn’t do anything wrong, just blame it on me next time if you don’t want to be rude.”

    (horrible revelation 2: there will be a next time.)

    Recounting this story, I’m getting that feeling again…

    Final Thoughts: From the time Taylor was born until her birthday I’ve felt as if time was moving forward. Now I realize that our time together is really a clock winding down and time running out.

    P.S: It was one year ago today Taylor came to live with me. Below is the photo of her first day of school in DC. (See: Sock Gloves)


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    Last Weeks Tweets

    January 31, 2010, 5:02 pm


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    SingleFatherHood: A Year In Review

    January 15, 2010, 12:39 am

    It was almost a year ago that I got the call that changed my life.

    Taylor (who will be 13 in 3 weeks) wanted to come live with me. I was shocked, I’ve always extended the offer wholeheartedly but never thought it would be accepted and logistically I had no idea what I was going to do, or how I was going to do it.

    After a year of success I thought I would share some of the advice that came in handy:

    Look before you leap!

    It’s usually great advice, but when it came to getting Taylor full time the best advice I received was: “next time she wants to come down, put her on the next thing smoking and figure out the rest later.” So I did, and am still doing.

    The life lesson I derived from this was: when the cause is worthy, ACT now- details later.

    “You’re her father not her friend.” – Randy Rose

    Advice given to me by my father as I was reassessing some of my parental strategies with him. Because I used to be weekend Dad I felt pressured to keep her entertained all the time. It was definitely an unexpected stress I had not considered.

    When my Dad said that, a huge weight was lifted and my opinion on my performance as “paterfamilias” greatly improved. Although we need to have fun together and she needs to have extracurricular activities ultimately what I will be held accountable for is what kind of person she turns out to be.

    I know, we all need fun to be well rounded but as the leader it’s my job to make sure we stay focused and on track….at all times.

    Children need leadership from their parents more than they need friendship- let them make friends at school.

    “You have to carve out some time for yourself so no one gets killed.” – Bernie Mac

    I really struggled early in the year with guilt. I felt guilty every time I said no, every time I forgot something, made a mistake, got angry, wasn’t supportive, left to run an errand, go to a meeting etc etc…

    Once I realized what was going on, I had to rectify within myself that although I was always human and flawed, now I just had someone to remind me of my flaws when I got home.

    After coming to grips with the fact that Taylor wasn’t judging me I felt a certain sense of freedom to be myself.

    I began focusing on creating balance in our life…she doesn’t need or want me around 24 hours a day and enjoys doing things for herself, and consequently I am in a better mood once I’ve had some me time.

    “It’s not good for man to be alone” – God

    One of the toughest things I’ve dealt with since taking the reigns of Taylors well being is not having anyone to help in the decision making process, the buck stops here, and with that comes the weight of that responsibility that I never imagined.

    This year I’ve made it a point to reach out to other parents I know in order to have a sounding board and get input from those I respect in regards to parenting. It’s been invaluable and contributions from those conversations have made it into this post.

    Being a good parent is hard work, but work worthy of our effort.

    “Share your Passion.” – PrettyMike

    One of life’s greatest rewards is being able to share our passions, visions and dreams with our children…It’s truly inspiring to hear Taylor get excited about a photo she took or a story she wrote. She even decided she was going to give jiu jitsu a try.

    I can’t wait to see what 2010 holds for Taylor, Clarence and I.


    Comments (5)

    Last Weeks Tweets

    December 6, 2009, 10:02 am


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    When Pre-Determined Responses Go Wrong!

    December 3, 2009, 9:39 am

    In Washington DC, there is always some BEI (bright eyed idealists) trying to get you to stop and sign something for one cause or another.

    It’s not that I’m not interested, don’t care, or haven’t been out hustling for signatures myself for various causes…I just don’t usually have time to hear a pitch and nor the desire to get emails for every cause on the planet.

    So over the last couple of years I’ve developed a system which I believe is encouraging yet prevents people from further engaging me or trying to overcome the objection.

    Signature Gatherer: Do you have a minute to help _______?
    Me: I’m in total support, but don’t have time to stop. Good Luck!

    This has generally worked for me…until today.

    As I was walking to a meeting today I spied two bright eyed idealist on the corner and before it registered what the young man had said:

    Signature Gatherer: Do you have time to support gay rights?

    I’m not totally sure why but I threw up a Black Panther fist and said:

    Me: I’M TOTALLY WITH YOU GUYS!

    Which didn’t sound nor look right…

    Click to Enlarge


    Comments (1)

    An Attitude of Grattitude.

    November 26, 2009, 8:12 am

    Because what else can you write about on Thanksgiving?

    Before I dive into 2009, I thought I would share the last two years of PM Thanksgiving posts.

    2007

    Short and Sweet-

    2008

    Blogs are great for reflection.

    2009 in no particular order.

    I am thankful for:

    Dawn Power Packs…still.

    The opportunity to be a full time Father.

    My Family: They have supported me to no end this year.

    I am thankful my Grandfather start using email, and that we are able to communicate everyday; even though his last email ended: “Find a women , before you get too old, surely there must be someone who will have you.HA HA” I am still thankful.

    Larry and Janelle Ward (and CJ)

    Dan my man-

    Jiu Jitsu

    My Doggy Clarence: He’s an old stubborn bastard which is probably why we get a long so well

    Photography

    Flip Flops

    Music

    Love, Loving, being Loved.

    Friends: Old and new, virtual or physical, I appreciate the contribution you make to my life.

    pillars

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    The Lytebox Effect

    November 13, 2009, 8:32 pm

    Click on the photo to see our new feature-

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    Last Weeks Tweets

    November 8, 2009, 10:02 am

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